Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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