Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just had sex bonerless
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
