i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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