I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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