So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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