Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
