If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
