I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
