I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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