I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
