So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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