There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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