Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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