How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
