Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
