4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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