that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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