i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
