I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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