My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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