so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Randomize
