your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
