Christians are straight up FREAKS
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
