Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
