After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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