I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
