Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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