I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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