I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
