There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
nutella sex= disaster
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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