need another drink. this is the easiest way
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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