He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
