Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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