addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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