I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
