She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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