Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
