apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
