I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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