why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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