You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
