I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
