Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Enjoy the penises
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
