on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
