You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
