I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
They have beer where we have blood.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
