i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
