I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize