Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
