i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
