he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
