we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
