So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Never underestimate the power of titties
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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