Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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