The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
