The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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