I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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