I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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