Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
