I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
