I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
