Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
