i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
