I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
