im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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