Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Randomize
