is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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