batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
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