absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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