I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
