haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
