dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't deserve a penis
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
