I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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