Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize