you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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