i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
